imsoshive:

me: what’s for dinner?

her: *spreads her legs*

me: 

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so, did you not cook or ….. cause popeyes closes at 10 and i need to leave now if i’m gon make it. 

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hanukkahlewinsky:

friend: “i can only bring one friend. wanna go?” 

me:

image

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nishlo:

but the real question is has nemo found himself

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